Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Bad Medicine.

Last week I was straight up giddy about taking a group of youth on a skiing/snowboarding trip to Pomerelle. The majority of Idaho had been pounded with snow and it was looking like the conditions would be perfect for hucking some serious gnar. Pomerelle specifically had received about 22 inches of snow the day/night before and the snow continued to fall. The temperature was 18 degrees and winds were 15-20 mph. We didn't care though, there was 22" of new POWDER! I'm here to tell you, at 5:00 p.m. that evening, we cared. Getting up the mountain to the resort was a chore in itself and I knew that getting down was probably going to be much worse with the blowing conditions. There were 9 of us in the group and I believe that 6 of the kids went down the slope 1 time and then hung it up. The snow was simply too deep for boarding. However, it was perfect for crashing. There are few situations involving my body being hurled uncontrollably through the air that I enjoy, however, the perfect wipe out on a snowboard is one of those situations. The thing with a perfect wipe out is, there has to be a good base of powder (otherwise you are skidding across ice and wiping out on ice is not pleasant.) So imagine for a moment that you are flying down the hill, wind blowing through your hair, the mountain is your playground and suddenly, the front of your board catches a burm that you didn't see. Within a split second, you go from controlling your gnar hucking destiny to flying through the air, uncontrollably, with only your face to break your fall (enter the benefit of powder). You hit the ground, hard, but your pain is forgotten when the spray of fresh fluffy snow fills your nose, ears, eyes, mouth (and if you aren't wearing bibs, your britches). It's like colliding with a cloud. You really haven't lived until you experience a wipe out like this.
Anyway, enough of that, let's discuss why this trip was terrible. As I said, conditions were less than desirable and most of the kids stopped after 1 run. I had paid $15 for a lift ticket though and despite the conditions and my misery, I was going to get my $15 worth. When you get to the top of the lift you can go right, to the easier runs or left to the terrain park and some more difficult runs. Last year I enjoyed going through the terrain park so I decided I would give it a whirl. So I boarded slightly down hill to the entrance of the terrain park only to see that it was closed...bummer. I had two options, I could unstrap and walk back to the top of the lift and go down the easy slope, or I could continue on to one of the more difficult runs. Unfortunately, I had an earbud from my iPod in one ear with music blarring. Now, I'll be the first to tell you that music does indeed increase adrenaline in the body (I did my senior project research paper on this) and I should have seen it coming. That's when Bon Jovi wrecked my party; specifically, "Bad Medicine." I can't help it, it's a good song and before I knew what was happening I was at the top of a hill that I really had no business descending with a fire burning in my eyes. I cranked the volume in my ipod, put it in a pocket that zipped so I wouldn't lose it and then violently zipped my coat up. Apparently I zipped it too violently because it broke off. So now I am at the point of no return on a large hill, 18 degrees, 20 mph sustained winds, Bon Jovi in the driver seat and my coat flapping unzipped in the wind. I should have, at this point simply surrendered but as I stated (and have research to back), music does weird things to people. I'll leave the rest of the tale up to your imagination but will tell you that it took me a while to get back to the lodge and when I finally made it, I was not happy. Next time I go snowboarding, it will be during the day. The temperature will be above freezing. Winds will be calm. My iPod will be loaded with Enya. Darn you, Bon Jovi.

2 comments:

  1. AMAZING! SIMPLY AMAZING! You are a funny man, I enjoy reading what you have to say!

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  2. Dad and I laughed until we cried! You are hysterical! We love you!!!! Write the daggone book! xoxo

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